Tila in Wonderland

Do you remember when your Pa used to get out that belt and say, Son, this is going to hurt me more then in will hurt you!?

I feel that way about the next instalment/to be continued/The Saga from Tila Tequila .I wanted to leave it alone, I wanted to strip it all away and have a nice bath and quite possibly turn the lights very low after my first encounter. But I am hooked, I am speared, I am quite possibly going to get a cease and desist letter.

Just when I truly thought she might have shunned her Twitter account, she has arrived on Facebook. Just when we all thought her PR to the stars (or rather Janice Dickinson's mouth piece) had shut Tila down with what I am sure was threats of dropping her unless she complied, we are treated to the more subtle insanity of her status updates. I wonder what happens in the engine bit of her PR agency to direct her to this more abusive intrusion. It seems that when you let people loose with more then 40 characters, the party really gets started.

In the world of Tila, things can change in an instant, so I challenge you to keep up. In Tila's final Tweets she informs us that she needs to keep up with her “empires” so she wont be around till May. I count March on my calender as it goes. But lets put that aside. Tila is  afraid the the media is going to bash her, but sadly for Tila, no media want to bash her. Tila is also going to leave The Hollywood to bring up her son with a shower of 10,000 condoms because he is a baller. And the best the thing we should all look forward to is her garage sale where she will donate all the proceeds to "Jaydens Angels", her charity for children named after a baby she claims to have lost. But then, in the fashion that we are all used to Tila recants. No, she will keep the money she makes.

Just what is going on down that rabbit hole? It seems that Tila has been cut off from her life line. Her need to be “seen” like some sort of mini-Avatar creature is growing. She can't plug on for a hit. She can't dive in for the instant attention. Good or bad, it's all attention, right? But there is something darker to the Facebook she wanted. Frankly, if Tila thought Twitter was losing it's gleam, think again. It's all got just a little bit more dark round these internets. 

The villagers are coming and they have pitchforks.

A bad wind is brewing, and although one may perceive it as a storm in a teacup, it may be more then that. There are several websites claiming that Tila has promoted or at least hosted a hot bed for sex offenders. Chatroulette is doing far more abusive things, but it has no mentally ill face to it. Simon Monjack has been accused if taking donations in his dead wife's name without a clear charity status endorsement, yet the media and other blogs just call him a rather large douche bag. It leaves more questions then answers. I come back to the same round-about I got on over 2 weeks ago.

What is it that we love to hate about Tila? I wonder if is the Narcissist in us all, the mirror showing itself. Do we all have a touch of borderline personality disorder? I wonder if the transference extends to the drug addict who stole or stash or is it the fact that Tila is simply an asshole of the grandest kind.

Tila represents something in the collective that we cannot bear. She stirs something in us that makes us want to hurl a rather large object at her and in case we cant find one, a rather large set of furious rants. If we look at fairy tales, is she the witch in Rupunzle, the mother who gave her up, or Rupunzle herself? Or is she the father in the piece that let it all happen and did nothing?

I wonder and wonder and wait and wait. What will be this end game. I fear something in most traditional fairy tales.

I fear that Tila may mistake a gingerbread house for a fiery oven. 

Sunday morning coming down

And I think it's going to rain. 

More. 

Sunday.

Love and Hate

Although I think we already covered  Courtney Love and her questionable parenting/life/love/prescription choices, I was interested to see her fresh alliances with Perez Hilton.

I sometimes wonder if Perez Hilton thinks if he befriends a troubled woman she might turn herself around because he wills her so with his Fame Wand Of Glory. Or did he just buy her a Twitter Spell Check? Maybe Miss Love has a case of what her current nemesis Lilly Allen would call The Fear?

I find Perez Hilton such an interesting character, so many faces that even a hall of mirrors can't reflect them all. 

I don't have to tell you about Perez Hilton. You know him, his cheeky grin, his camp out and proud stance, his dog Teddy. Or maybe you know him because of vicious cruelty, his personal and  often humiliating attacks on young actresses, his outing of actors who never got the choice to make as he made it for them.

Perez Hilton is about as woman friendly as Don Imus. Misogyny is something that they both practice with finesse. Whilst Don says this about Hillary Clinton:

“…that buck-toothed witch Satan, Hillary Clinton… No, she is a -- she is a -- Oh, God! She is evil…Bill Clinton and his fat ugly wife, Satan…. “

Perez Hilton says this of Jennifer Aniston:

“I just don't think she's a nice person. I think she doesn't have a sense of humour. I think she's marginally talented, adequately good-looking, doesn't do anything to make the world a better place ..."

Uh-huh.

Hilton regularly attacks women, and the bile that flows from his website on the whole in degenerate. He is a bully of the highest order and it is fascinating that singers such as Katy Parry, Lady Gaga and actress Emily Rossum fostering loved up relationships with something and someone so deeply repugnant. And yet, so little of the small community that makes up such a powerful influence in pop culture disown him openly. And this is where said Fear comes into place.

Hilton often says that he is not “Perez Hilton”, not really. He says is a pretty nice guy who loves his mama and is loyal to his friends. He expresses that he is not as big an asshole as his nom de guerre makes him out to be. I imagine it is up to the reader to place his or her tongue firmly in his or her mouth as we read what a whore/bitch/loser Hilton casts his next victim as. By the way yes, it is OK for Hilton to call will.i.am a faggot, but ya better step back Isaiah Washington.

It is a shame that Perez Hilton has become the gate through which all celebrity life must pass in order to get a pass. It as if one has to endure being beat up by the school bully to be nominated as prom queen.

But as the Queen, Perez Hilton can scream OFF WITH HER HEAD!!

And if statbrain.com is right, 69,000 of us a day click on his website, stand back, and watch those coiffured tresses roll. 

Go us.

Kittens.

I have had quite the accusation leveled at me.

I have been told I may be, well. Cranky. My blogs are cranky. I think they are insightful and interesting and Vanity Fair may just ring me any second.

However. I wish to put this right.

 

I think I may direct my self and my cloudy disposition in the direction of The Queen of All Cranky Behaviour.

Stay Tuned. Hold Steady.

Adjunct

Why are there so many shrinks openly on Twitter and or Social Networks?

I wonder how that makes a client feel.

I wonder what it is like to share your most important and sometimes only vital attatchment as the property of the world.

I wonder... do ethical boundaries mean very much anymore?

You tell me.

The Downfall of Anna O.

I think my Blog is having a real existential crisis. Does it stand alone, with no real purpose. Does it make any impact on the lives of others? Does it's construct have any external meaning?

I think what my Blog needs is a shrink. A well versed, salty old dog of a shrink. Because my Blog seems, in a rather misguided way, to focus on celebrity. I shall go to the source. The font of celebrity psyche, Dr. Drew Pinsky.

But what did you say? Dr. Drew Pinsky is not a registered therapist? He actually has no qualification in treating complex mental health issuues?

Well, no dear Blog. He does not. He is of course a member of the American Society for Addiction Medicine. But I am afraid my darling Blog, that is not the same as spending up to 14 years of study and training and placements and client hours. Hundreds of client hours to be named and registered as a psychotherapist.

But he is called Dr. Drew!!

Yes my beloved Blog, but that is because he is what they call an Internist. That's fancy speak for saying he is a Doctor of adult medicine. He can poke and prod you Blog, but I fear he is not licensed in the state of California or any other state as it happens, to practice on your crisis. Wait.. ok.. I lie. He is an Addictionologist.

AHA.. and you can't fool me on THIS one. He writes books about Narcissism, drug addiction, and pill popping. So THERE. AND he has a television show, where he therapizes people. He knows addiction! He DOES. He is a god of the 12 step movement!!

Well, Blog. I know this is going to really upset you. But see, Dr. Pinsky has not written one of those books independently. He has helpers, kinda like Santa's helpers. An even Dr. Michael Miller, one time President of the of the American Society of Addiction Medicine thinks Dr. Drew steps high wide and plentiful. I think the word he used was Hyperbole in referring to a piece of an interview Dr. Drew did with Playboy. Yes, Playboy.

So lets talk about Dr. Pinsky. Or rather lets talk about how We The People have let Dr. Pinsky into our collective unconcious. I never tip tap type without all the research I can get my hands on, and the background I found on Dr. Pinsky was pretty underwhelming.

Hand on heart I can find no more then two medical journal entries listed as authored by Drew Pinsky MD. Hmmmmm. I know that he is that he is Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Keck USC School of Medicine, that is for sure. I actually rang USC to ask them what exactly they mean by that title. I was under the impression that one had to be in training or trained in psychiatry for this title. As of press the button time, no one has been able to get back to me on that one. Maybe Drew is becoming a psychiatrist and has foiled me once again.

But I did find this:

David Drew Pinsky started off in 1985 as a humble med student and fell into his gig at the KROQ radio station's call-in show LoveLine. He was asked to appear as the resident doctor on a segment called “Ask The Surgeon”. In a slightly ironic twist, Dr. Pinsky was not qualified to be a doctor in the inception of his radio career. He was just Drew. But fame called and everyone in Los Angeles who has had even tuned into KROQ now knew who now Dr. Drew was. (I can confirm he is a of course currently Medical Doctor . I looked him up on the AMA, so it's all good)

In 1989, Drew Pinsky became Medical Director Of Los Encinas Chemical Dependency unit. As a medical doctor and I am sure his services were and are invaluable.

But I had to question: When does being a medical doctor qualify as a learned psychotherapist? It's sort of like saying you have have been a custodian at a school all your adult working life, so that gives you entitlements to teach Calculus. But on I went. I was sure to find something that vindicated with imperturbability of Dr. Drew's expertise. Why was he getting on the telly and Alice Miller is left to rot. Eh?

In 2003 Drew started to write. Well, he wrote and others corrected his spelling. I have yet to see a book with his name on it that he wrote into completion, by himself with only the help of a handy editor. In my search for better understanding about Dr. Pinsky and his career, I read some of his co authored books. It was his last one that pricked up my ears. How did Dr Drew know so much about Narcissism? Dr. Pinskys most current book is called “The Mirror Effect: How Celebrity Narcissism Is Seducing America”. And Here comes the science bit. He gave Dr. Drew's Narcissism Test to 200 celebrity participants. As much as that made me chuckle, it is hardly the kind of research we should be entitled to with the exposure Drew Pinsky is offered. And all smirking beside.. where exactly is the science bit?

However I continued my hard graft. I put his name into any search engine I get about 13 million hits for information, web pages, quotes and that sort of thing and over 7 million hits for images. And many of those images are with celebrities. Many of that information is Dr. Pinsky pathologizing people in the public eye he has never met with as patients before.

Lets take for example Lindsay Lohan, who is not a current or past patient of Dr. Pinsky:

I'm really convinced that something horrible is going to have to happen to her before she really gets over it and embraces sobriety. She needs to give it up.

-Dr. Pinsky on Lindsay Lohan and her past drug issues.

Or how about Tiger Woods?

What I heard was him beating himself up for being this bad person ... that's not recovery.

-Dr. Drew on Tiger Woods and sex addiction. Or rather taking Tigers Inventory For Him

Now, either someone is having a laugh, or Dr. Drew Pinsky is pulling a fast on on us. I think this is where all that training as a analyst or even a basic run of the mill therapist would have done him good. A few lectures on transference, maybe a read of Freud s points of "On Narcissism”, or maybe a good look in his own mirror.

In the true meaning of narcissism, the DSM-IV tells us that it is pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. Any therapist worth his or her professional integrity would have the empathetic reasoning and standard to never comment on the lives of others unless they were an agreed subject of a substantial body of ongoing work. Is it not grandiose to pontificate on matters or people Dr. Drew knows nothing personally about? I wonder if Dr. Drew just needs to feel admired for his talk talk talk. Lets face it, it is what he gets paid for. A talking head, but not a shrinker of heads.

Narcissistic much?

I find the last few sentences of an insightful article on Dr. Pinksy and his show Celebrity Rehab written by Chris Norris for the NY Times to be the most damning. Although I am horrified that Drew leads any kind of group therapy session, Tom Sizemore seems to get the game.

“May I just say that Tom’s experience, Tom’s childhood experience?” Pinsky told the group.

“Common to many experiences here. He actually told a story once that stayed with me.” Pinsky looked at Sizemore with obvious sympathy, then tried to prompt him. “You know?” he said. “About the crib?”

As Pinsky tried to draw him out, Sizemore looked back at Dr. Drew with a soft, tired smile. Finally he said,
 “Not on TV.”

But we continue to have Drew on TV. We will have him until we stop accepting that an MD does not mean inherent omniscience. That experience does not count for training and a body of ethics should be adhered to. But that's right, Dr. Drew does not have to adhere to those ethics that most workers in the psychiatry or mental health world have to. I wont wish for a TV Doctor Soul rehab.

But there is one thing I very much wish on Dr. David Drew Pinsky:

....I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty.


Above all, I must not play at God....

Do not fear, your Daily Nadir is here.

Well, I think the blog on Tila Tequila hit the mark. It seems as if her Tweets have hit and all time low and the "book" I wrote about her on this blog may have made a very slight dent. I will update anything I feel might be of interest.

I am working on another blog, but these things take time and thought.

EDIT

I also want to thak the folks over at Tila's Rot Spot.. they are doing some very complex and worthy work on getting child exploitation out of Tila's Hot Spot website. Well done.

As a taster, skip on over to this test. I will be getting to know Dr. Drew Pinsky very, very well over the next few days.

http://www.0eb.com/

Go well.

I Dream of Courtney

Do you remember The Sound of Music?

Every time I see Courtney Love in the news, on Twitter, on Perez Hilton, the song How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? comes into my mind. I hum it as I make my tea and sit down to write this.

Even for an old-comer like me, it is sometimes hard to be objective. How does one observe an icon? I might as well take on Pinochet, or Evita. From her public breakdowns to her vital history she is in our collective memory. I once read a book about dreaming of Madonna. I wonder if such a book could be written about Courtney.

I want to come at this with no sense of entitlement, even though Courtney Love has offered herself to the world. I want to hold Courtney up , send her a few NAM-MYOHO-RENGE-KYO's and be done with it. But she demands more of me.

As a collective we all know Courtney's history. She married another icon of the grunge scene in 1990, but I think we forget that she was She before she met He. Courtney's love of music started long before the taste of her 2nd husband hit her. Did you know that she sang in Faith No More, or that the was to travel to Ireland and England on her own at 16 on a poxy trust fund? And she had a first husband. Not so Iconic, but in 1980 he loved her , and she loved him and there was a history before the grunge. And the drugs. And the shotgun. Courtney was Courtney before she belonged to you, or me, or Kurt.

I want to fast forward. You know the story, and so I wont trouble you with the myth. However, recently Courtney has troubled me. I have of course been mildly interested in her antics, but it was the FICO scores that got me. And reams and reams of these FICO attacks/I will fix your score/send me your money woes, that would follow on Facebook, Twitter and in her blog. It would appear that Miss Love is worried that the government has fucked her and fucked her big. But look deeper, even a centimetre deep. One could grab a tin foil hat and batten down the hatches. Courtney seemed to spend days and days, awake and frantic about what phantom Cobain was coming to take her away ha ha ha ha ho who who who who. And my icon fell.

But then she abated. She left Twitter. She Ceased and Desisted. She popped her head up on Facebook to Address The Masses On FICO, and her parental woes, but again as quick as she came, she went. Phew!

And now to her other crusade. The Bean. This precious, deeply talented, interesting child. This product of Icon who did no chose her birthright, yet is lumbered

I am going to tell you a rather big reality. I was a child of a rock star. I know what it is like to sleep on a blanket in egg crate covered studios, the smell of dope lingering and my parent laughing in the background, doing the last take. I know what it is like to want to go home, oh WHEN can we go home! But also be in awe of my parents talent. I also know what it is to want said parent to shape up for fucks sake and be my parent.

I often wonder, in all of Courtney's rants if she can stop for a moment in her quiet reflection and grasp empathy.

In all of her anger and tiger mother embodiment I wonder if she can bypass her resentment and hold steady to the fact that somewhere, Frances has chosen to be away from her. I wonder if she can trust that she raised a highly capable child, a thoughtful woman, a true heart that knows exactly what is good for her. If she wants away, then the best remedy is to let her fly. Of all the gifts she could give, I wonder if a gentle return is in order.

Courtney, in the collective of the children of Icons, we never wanted your gifts, or your fashion sense,your fabulous friends, or your music. Although it sad that Kurt left us in such a violent way, all we want is your well being, your silence, your growth into crone, wise one, teller of stories rather than being the story. `

As a parent, and a survivor of rock and roll, I wonder if Courtney is ready to do something quite extraordinary and just be quiet.

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say

What Tila Did Next....

I love the internet.

I have loved it since we first met in 1993. My gleaming Macintosh classic whirring up, dialling into a world of Geo-cites, HTML chat, news groups and even shopping online was exciting. It seemed all things were possible. Of course with possibility there is darkness. The chat rooms filled with dirty old men, the underground of violence and terrorist threat grew like a cybernetic monster, and the ability to crush someone ego/soul/value at the touch of an anonymous button was ever present. The recent advent of social networks like Facebook and Twitter, and blogs like this one seem to attract all walks of life. From the witty naysayer to the deeply and very obviously mentally and emotionally disturbed.. I ask myself as I witnessed the horrific emotional trainwreaks on the ride of this voyeuristic self-media, do I stop and stare? Do I ring the internet emergency services? Or do I sit back, grab my popcorn and chew through the most stressful bits?

Recently I decided to sign up for Twitter. I thought it might be interesting to try and find my own voice in a few clever sentences. Sadly, I think my teenager was right when he read my Tweets. He labelled it an “utter fail”. What I did find was as fascinating as any sociology thesis I have ever read, albeit in 40 characters or less.

Raise your hand if you have heard of Tila Tequila. Anyone? No? Nor had I. Enter a short article on another blog site, a click of my mouse, and I am sent racing through the innerwebs to the never-never land of Tila's Twitter-shaped rabbit hole.

I will give you some brief and slightly compelling history. Tila Tequila ( birth name Nguyen) is an internet sensation, or rather was. In the hay day of the My Space social network, she added over 1 million “friends”. She was a sexy little minx that threw not only caution, but quite often her underpants to the wind. In 2006 Nguyen scored herself a silly little reality show called "A Shot At Love" for MTV. Tila it seemed, had the nefarious world of reality television and it's fans at her spiked stiletto wearing feet. Did I mention she was also in a show called Dance Off With Your Pants Off?

And then something broke.

Tila Nguyen was born in Singapore to French Vietnamese parents who immigrated to the United States after the Vietnam war. The youngest of 3 children, Nguyen often refers to her childhood as rough and disjointed, and freely admits to a drug problem by the time she was just 16. Tila often talks about the one room she shared with her family and the poverty they endured in her native Texas. But then then things changed. Tila was spotted at a car show and recruited as a model by a talent scout from California. She rose to fame not as much as a Phoenix, but a slow burning rumour. And then came the internet.

“Haters” are a phenomenon that seem to come with internet celebrity. “Famous for being famous” seems to be tantamount to drawing a bullseye on your ass and screaming "Lock and Load!" to the thousands who feel the receiver of such fame is undeserved and unworthy. Nguyen seems to be in the sights of those “haters” and boy are the ready to aim and fire.

What brings on such rage? What could stir such ire onto a 4 foot 10 waif of a thing whose only crime seemed to be her utter lack of viable talent? Even Paris Hilton gets a pass, and I think it is safe to say her talent is pouting in the right direction at the right time. And with no sex tape to her name, how bad could she be?

Enter Casey Johnson.

Casey Johnson, the deceased heir to the Johnson and Johnson fortune was a Hollywood scene favourite. Not ever truly famous herself, she would continually sit on the cusp of the infamous. She rejected and then regretted the Nicole Ritchie half of the Paris Hilton reality show, The Simple Life. She cavorted and partied and dressed like a star, sadly in her nadir she imploded.

Like many children born to privileged families, Casey seemed to be an oxymoron. She had it all and equally, she had nothing. In the last days of her life she was virtually broke, and had little contact with her family. Her adopted daughter was taken from her by her own mother as it became clear that Casey could not care for Casey, much less a vulnerable child . Rumours of drug use were rife and many of her friends were unsurprised by her passing whilst suffering a diabetic coma. Unsurprised does not in any case mean saddened and mournful at the loss of a ostensibly lovely and loved young women. Lovely, but deeply troubled.

And Tila Tequila loves trouble. She states in her MySpace profile that she is “drawn to fucked up people”. And it seems that at the end of her life, Casey was as fucked up as they come. They met in Los Angeles and both reported to initially dislike each other intensely. Tila was an outsider, a reality star, not to the manor born.

Although Casey was not officially “out”, her bisexual tendency's led her to the door of Courtenay Semel, another heir to the throne of a powerful family and a childhood friend. Courtenay is the self reported Don Juan of the Lesbian world, and seems to have had her fingers in a lot of dramatic pots. Even in the pot of Tila Tequila at one point.

Semel and Johnson carried on a rather passionate and sometime vicious relationship. Courtenay allegedly even went as far as setting Casey's hair on fire in a more volatile argument. At one point, (and my research cannot pinpoint exactly when) Tila and Casey seem to hook up after another dramatic fall out with Semel. Some speculate that the coupling was a revenge tactic, as Semel is reported to dislike Tila like some of us dislike stepping in dog mess.

Johnson and Tequila were a recipe for disaster.

In late November of 2009, after less then a month as a couple,Casey and Tila made appearances and statements announcing their engagement to the world. In the live stream on Tila's website, one can see that Casey is unwell. She looks drawn yet overdone in a caricature of make-up and trashy underwear. She barley speaks as Tila rambles on about canary diamonds, being “wifey” to an heiress and having babies. Tila becomes a Machiavellian figure, prompting Casey when her eyes seems to become unfocused and her head too heavy for her shoulders. It is heartbreaking to watch. But to my shame, watch I did.

Around Christmas,2009, the downfall of Tila Nguyen is set in stone as days and days of sleepless and incoherent Tweets start to rain down on us. Tila claims she is going to Texas without her “wifey” to see her family, and in the visit she is to become a surrogate mother for her brothers unborn child. She flies out of LA and days later amongst hundreds of irrational Twitter updates Tila announces to the world that Casey Johnson is dead. The Johnson family had yet a breath to take in the face of this unthinkable and tragic outcome. But Twitter knows.

Most of us find the death of a partner unthinkable and utterly ghastly. Most of us also deal with these kinds of tragedies in private. But this is a Tila Special.

After the death of Casey, Tila becomes more and more bizarre. Her tweets, blogs and web streams range from Tila being the future ambassador to Vietnam, to being pregnant by a man she describes a war hero, then back to her brother's surrogate, then veers left to a mixed race sperm donor. She announces she will sign you, YES YOU, to her record label,is an angel of God, and then calls herself Jane in the third person. She dances with guns her mouth, makes a promise to adopt an orphan in Russia, and then decides she is not a lesbian at all and is going to marry her “baby daddy”.

Amongst all of this clear and present mental health crisis, bloggers start to assassinate her character. They set up pages to defame and disparage Tila. They call her a paedophile, a fame whore, a disgusting pig. They speculate on her recent trip to Australia. Did she fly first class? They call her a pathological liar. Is she pregnant at all? They screen capture her infamous televised bathroom rants, comparing her tummy to women at her same claimed gestation. They simply hate her.

Tila is clearly disturbed. One look down the rabbit hole and it is apparent someone has been having a go at the “Drink Me” potion. In the reality of the reality show of her life, I suspect she has a personality disorder of such great proportion that she is now delusional and in the fight of her life. Her need for attention is compelling because I imagine that the 300,000 people that follow her on Twitter simply can't get enough of the pop corn of her breakdown. If Tila Tequila is so compelling in her destruction, I also wonder what has happened to our compassion. Many people have to live with mental illness and never get the chance to ask for help, yet it seems to me that with every Tweet, Tila is begging to be loved, asking to be saved, imploring the Universe embrace her shattered sense of self.

Sadly, the medium through which she communicates this desire ultimately fails her. It seems that even her assistant and management seems to collude with her undoing.

I sincerely hope that Tila gets her wish. Her fractured demons seem stronger then the angel she so desperately wants to be.